Wednesday 25 July 2012

Fear

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.
~ Japanese Proverb


Light flooded through the tall arched window in the examinations hall. Lia gripped her pen in pain as her abdomen cramped again. A feeling of nausea danced in her belly. ‘Focus’ she whispered to herself, careful not to be heard. Lia looked down at the paper and bit her tongue hoping that the pain would shift.
 “You can open your booklets and begin,” the invigilator said at the front of the hall momentarily glancing at the large white clock behind him. He looked like a dinosaur. Lia stared at him longer than necessary as if willing him to reveal to her the answers. But of course he did not, instead his pre-historic eyes bore into her until she averted her gaze. She began to write.   
‘Pick any two questions’ the paper instructed but she could only answer one. Mark was right: if she couldn’t get through a standard mid-term how on earth would she be able to get through a trial, a real trial in fron of a real jury?
The silence of people writing furiously unnerved her.  An arm shot up to the right of her. More paper, she thought incredulously; it seemeed like barely five minutes had passed. But the clock told a different story.
The pain in her abdomen grew worse. Was it nerves or was she really sick? Lia looked up at the arched window – if only it were open she would be able to breathe properly not like the shallow puffs her body was forcing her to take.  
“You have five minutes,” the dinosaur said. But this time when he spoke the cramps eased and a feeling of calm took over. Lia looked at the paper if front of her. A sketchy answer to one of the questions lay before her but she wasn’t scared anymore. Somehow, the fear had passed.

About the photo: This photo has been taken from inside the Main Hall at the Bodleain Library.

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